Stupid Fucking Susan Bumpit (or my kid has strong opinions about Jesus)

She's the "head room mom" or whatever for Cassidy's 1st grade classroom. She's a bitch. And she hates me. A lot. I think it's because I'm 15 years younger than her and don't have to wear 8 pounds of make up to feel good about myself. Or wear a bumpit.

So, a while back her kid told Cassidy that he was going to hell because Cass isn't mormon. Cass was like "Huh?". And her kid says to him "Jesus doesn't love you because you're not mormon so you're going to hell!" And my darling brilliant hilarious 6 year old responded with, "Well, I don't want Jesus to love me because he's a zombie! People said he came back from the dead!" And then I get ripped a new asshole by Stupid Fucking Susan Bumpit because my child is "compromising her child's faith" with his Zombie Jesus talk. I told her to teach her kids to be respectful of us non-mormons and our beliefs and maybe she wouldn't have to worry about it....

Anyway- Today:

SFSB- "Your son made {insert her kids name here} cry today!" (Picture her with her caked on makeup and blue eyeshadow with 8 bumpits wobbling in her big blond boofy hair getting all up in my face)

Me- ***sigh*** "What'd he do?"

SFSB- "He told my child that Jesus wasn't really a zombie, that He was actually a vampire!"

Me- (to Cass) "Did you say that?"

Cass- "Yeah. cuz it's true! Nonna (aka Mary... see cast and characters) told me that he had the postules (apostles, I'm assuming) drink his blood so they could live forever.... that's how vampires make new vampires!"

Me- (shaking with silent laughter) "I'm so sorry Susan but his logic is pretty good! I might even have to agree..." (At this point I bust out laughing)

SFSB- "I'm going to talk to the principle about this!!"

Me and Cass just laughed and laughed as she stormed off with her teary eyed son...

Cass- I know Jesus isn't a vampire zombie, mom... But I know that kid is a JERK!

And then we high fived.